Group+5

Director- Aayush Sarkar Camera person- Binoy Shah Art Director- Mitanshu Kothari Music, Sound Effects and Lighting- Vyom Kavishwar

__Title: A Wrong Choice__ Setting- Two neighboring deserted buildings, Mumbai, 2010 (setting in the screen-play is different) Characters- Assassin 1- Name Unknown- He is short and has dark hair, a backpack, goggles, a gun, black clothes and shoes. He only cares about the money, and is a vicious killer, who is only nice to his partner. Assassin 2- He dresses like his partner, and is short, thin and has black hair. He is a loyal man who always does his duty. For years, he has been hunting down a victim under the mysterious boss's orders, without knowing any details. He and his partner have finally found their target in Mumbai, and are attacking him. Evil mysterious boss- No one knows anything about him, except that he is a delusional criminal on a mission that nobody knows about. Only his shadow is shown in this scene. Old man- He is believed to be Assassin 1's father, but there are many mysteries about him. He is the victim, and he is trying to flee from Mumbai, but has been cornered.

__Main conflict- PAUL AND TRISTAN HAVE BEEN HIRED FOR A SIMPLE MISSION, WITHOUT ANY EXPLANATION......__

INT. OLD BUILDING, MANHATTAN, NEW YORK, 2005 (did you really need to set it in NY? How does that add to the story?)
====PAUL and TRISTAN are in a room. THEIR BOSS has a mission for them. He is looking at them through a camera. They are dressed in black clothes, jackets, sunglasses and watches. Backpacks are slung around their shoulders.====

EXT. PAREL, TWO TOWERS (the rapid transitions make the script a bit jumpy. You could have just gone straight to Parel and given a sub title to say it's in Mumbai)
====The area is quite, with little greenery and a hotel in the background. The men are here to hunt down their target. Paul wonders what he is doing here. (hasn't he been told he's on a mission to assasinate someone? Characterisation seems unclear.) They split up and go to different buildings.====

Paul leans against the window with his sniper rifle. It is brown and black. He looks through it into the other building. His finger is on the trigger. He stops. The man is his father!
==== (action here seems implausible. Need to be more convincing and realistic) He jumps into tower 2. He has broken two windows. He is in a crouched position, his gun aimed at his father. He is tall, with colored clothes and a walking stick. He doesn’t seem surprised. Tristan has also arrived, and is encouraging him to go on. He has no idea about what Paul has learnt. But who should Paul shoot- his partner or his father? (the last bit seems like you are telling a story not writing a screenplay) ====

Saying this, he slams his walking stick into his nephew’s head, taking him out.
====WHAT IS GOING ON? What was his uncle doing? Why was he a target? How did he know his nephew was coming? Is Paul going to be arrested? (the last bit seems like you are telling a story not writing a screenplay) ====

A police car has arrived. The sirens are blaring.
ASSESSMENT CRITERIA FOR SCREEN WRITING
 * Originality of the script: 3.5
 * Development of Ideas- conflict, characterisation and setting:3
 * Conventions of screenplay: 2.5
 * Spelling Grammar and Punctuation: 3

Teacher's Comments: The basic premise of the story was quite interesting. However, you need to pay more attention as a group when we are going through screen-writing. Very few conventions of screen-writing have been used; towards the end it seems more like a story with the questions.