Improving+your+Essay+Writing+Skills


 * __ FEEDBACK ON ACT 1.8 __**

**  1.   ****   The synopsis needs to be brief   **   · Blood Brothers by Willy Russell  · The two main characters are Mrs J and Mrs L. Mrs L is Mrs J’s employer, a rich lady who cannot have children.  · Mrs J is pregnant with twins and cannot afford to look after so many children  · They make a pact, Mrs J gives up one of her twins to Mrs L.    ·  In this scene, Mrs L breaks her promise and separates the Mother from her child. || **  2.   ****   Embed quotations (i.e. quotations should be a part of the sentence) and explain them. **  //  As the scene progresses, Mother becomes vulnerable and helpless. The quotation that shows this is ‘What will I do, how are we going to live without me job’. //   Improved Answer: //  As Mother nervously wonders aloud ‘what will I do’, we understand that she is worried how she will feed her children. This shows that Mother is short of money and is dependent on Mrs Lyons for employment. // ||    **   3.   ****   Analyse rather than narrate    **  //  Mother threatens Mrs Lyons by saying ‘I’ll tell someone, I’ll tell the police’. However these threats are in vain as Mrs Lyons counter –threatens Mrs J by saying she will tell them that the baby was sold to her. //   Improved answer: In this scene, Mother undergoes a change in character. She threatens Mrs L by saying, “I’ll tell someone, I’ll tell the police.’ These words show that Mother, as opposed to her timid self, plucks up the courage to fight for her rights to see her child. It also shows her strong maternal affection. ||
 *  ** LIST 3-4 POINTS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN INCLUDED IN THE INTRODUCTION  **
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